Clubbing WIP - The Script

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I've never written a comic from a script before. Well, I mean, I've done a number of short, four-panel strips from a script, but I mean a longer comic. One with some element of development and story. I've tried to write scripts before, but they never worked out, so I would always wing it.

But one day, I was watching an analysis of how "The Simpsons" has deteriorated over the years, and in the video, the host said that scripts for the show would be written and rewritten many times to achieve the kind of writing "The Simpsons" was known for in its early days. I considered that. Of course, I'm not a writer on "The Simpsons," but my writing's alright, I think. So I wrote down the basic idea for the comic and rewrote it and rewrote it and rewrote it. With every rewrite, I worked out kinks, added layers, made specifications, you name it. At the third rewrite, I got stuck and put it down for a few weeks. It was only recently (late last December) that I hit a breakthrough and picked it up again.

With the idea mostly sorted out, I converted the big ugly paragraph into a five-page script in Celtx. Now, given all 52 panels, I could add specific details or instructions for each panel. Things like what certain characters were doing in a panel, tracking who's holding what in which hand, etc. In theory, outside of how I'm actually supposed to execute this plan, I now have a beat-for-beat list of what to do.

Normally, I like to make up the story as I go along, but as you might imagine, I run into problems like whilst doing that. If this script thing works out well enough, I might switch to making this how I write longer comics. I guess we'll see~

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Keeping in line with the gaming themes I had in the last two comics, this comic (name pending, currently calling it "Clubbing") is based on a recurring event in video games. RPGs, to be specific. That wonderful loop of buying new weapons at every new town. I specifically remember moments of frustration related to this phenom in one of my otherwise favorite games, Dragon Quest IX: Sentinels of the Starry Skies.

OH, NO. SPOILERS. OH MY GOD.

Still here? Cool beans.

If you didn't want to read the whole script, here's basically what happens.

Jay and Sheriff are adventuring, and Jay gets fed up with having to upgrade to a new weapon at every town. So she stops buying new weps. They keep trekking, but since Jay never upgrades, she, unbeknownst to her, is just being less and less effective in fighting mobs. Sheriff keeps trying to convince her to upgrade and finally does when they encounter a special monster. Jay coughs up the money, upgrades, beats the monster with Sheriff, and, of course, gets a weapon drop that's better than the thing she just bought. Sheriff's feeling a bit "whoops." It takes her some time to get over it, but she does, but not really, because she mouth-punches the weapons peddler.

It was the ending that really stopped me up. Again, I ran into the issue of how to do this satisfactorily but creatively. I wanted to have that kick-in-the-face moment when you get a better drop than what you just ruddy bought, which has happened to me before. But I didn't want Jay to have a nasty, over-the-top reaction to Sheriff for making her buy a new weapon. I believe I even wrote in my notes "he was just trying to help." I've said it before and I'll say it again. I don't like mean-spirited jokes.

So why does McWeapon get tongue-punched? Because that, at least to me, comes off as so surreal, the nature of it takes a backseat.

Let's look at the two scenarios: Jay beating up Sheriff or Jay tongue-punching the weapons peddler. The punchline, or lack thereof, in the former is that Jay beats up Sheriff. That's it. The aggression is where the humor is meant to be found.

In the latter, the punchline, or lack thereof, is that Jay is apparently still so upset, her tongue becomes a fist. The bizarre imagery is where the humor is meant to be found.

Her just chasing him with both weapons is just kind of ehh... It's too predictable. It brings that necessary final payoff, but it's not good enough somehow. Not only is, again, the aggression the joke, it's just too obvious. Unless you read this, you likely wouldn't guess that her tongue would turn into a giant fist and smash into McWeapon.

Now, "harsh and sullen Jay" was my incidental shorthand for Jay looking exactly the same in multiple scenes. The fact that she basically just lost a bunch of money hits her moments after she lays eyes on the weapon drop. I wanted to have her seethe, but as this is all pantomime, I wanted to blow it out of proportion and show her seethe so deeply, she won't even move for hours. And poor Sheriff is so contrite.

Well, that's all I've got for now. As I'm writing this, I've thumbnailed the first of the five pages from the script. God willing, I'll post about it soon.

Thanks for reading.

#comic #script #jay #sheriff #genrechowderstudios